Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize