Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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