we have officially lost it.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
