maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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