now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize