I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
