Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
