you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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