My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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