Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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