she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
