you guys were way drunker than both of me
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
