I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
