I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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