this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
