And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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