Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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