Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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