I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
