your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
