i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
