It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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