and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I am available for nakedness
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
