He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
