Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
50% drunk capacity currently
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
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