Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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