she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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