But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
