We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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