Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
40s are totally the cure
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just had sex on a roof
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
