Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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