Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
