if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize