i think i have two assholes
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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