did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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