Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
