Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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