Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize