So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize