Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
