She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize