Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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