"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
