Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am midnight drunk by noon
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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