like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Drunk is a universal language darling
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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