i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
