this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
