she was so not down for the gang bang
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
