Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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