I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
