Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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