I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
