The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize