I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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