awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
