we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
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