Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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