Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize