i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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