I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
